FUNNY STUFF
...from the wonderful world of instant messagers. I make no apologies for the number of FanFiction.Net related comments. Some names have been changed to protect the "innocent".

Metara v2.0: Well, that was interesting chicken. (Assuming it was chicken.)

God: Heya thar
Metara v2.0: OMG, God just IMed me
God: YES!!!1
Metara v2.0: waaah, I'm sorry I haven't been to church lately ;___;
God: YOU HAVEN'T?!
God: *smites*
-Connection lost, please check your Internet connection

Doctoroc: My return key isn't working... *sobs on your shoulder*
Greiver-Zero: *Patpats your head*
Greiver-Zero: *pat... pat... pat.. SMITE... patpat... pat...*

Tangwistel: what do you think of my post? would you rather Metara didn't play a big role
Doctoroc: I'd like her to.
Doctoroc: Nasongue needs a love interest. XD
Tangwistel: *SPITS COKE!*

Metara v2.0: "Unlimited" doesn't mean unlimited. It just means as long as you don't use too much and they get pissed at you.

Metara v2.0: *huffs* My next self-insertion character will be a 300lb superfatty chipmunk.
Metara v2.0: then I can feel all superior
Miles Prower: How superior?

Metara v2.0: Wait...
Metara v2.0: Does that even work?
Shadownia: That doesn't work
Metara v2.0: Yeah, that would be because I'm stupid.

Faker: The ^______^ is yoru friend
Faker: YORU!
Faker: FOUR, YOU USELESS KEYBOARD!

Logan-BP: *love his cargo pants*
Doctoroc: Damn you, I could never muster enough evil to steal someone's cargo pants
Doctoroc: Unless he's wearing them
Doctoroc: ...Wait, that sounded wrong

Miles Prower: Would you like to hit me?
Tangwistel: *WHACK*
"Miles Prower" signed off at 9:27:36 pm.
"Miles Prower" signed on at 9:27:41 pm.
Tangwistel: Damn, I'm good...

Doctoroc: As Something Awful once said: "Ah, the LiveJournal. An online diary- where, as opposed to recording your innermost and most secret feelings personally, you force them upon the world."
Doctoroc: It's also where nosey little buggers like me read up on other people's lives. n_n

Tangwistel: For the record: house rules apply. Don't kill the character, and don't do anything hentai.
Doctoroc: Damn, there went my only two options.

Austin: watcha doin?
Tangwistel: Typing.
Austin: i see

Tangwistel: His sword has a kill-anything move, and can heal him, and teaches him new techniques whenever he needs them...
Tangwistel: that says it all really
Doctoroc: e_e Yes, it does.

Tangwistel: Rachel stabbed me in the butt with a piece of wire.
Miles Prower: Would you mi--
Miles Prower: o_O

Snake: I eat alot of Chinese
Metara v2.0: I like pork balls. I just sat there for thirty seconds trying to think of a way to make that sound less obscene, but I couldn't.

Miles Prower: Try talking to me, and I'll act crazy.
Metara v2.0: hello
Miles Prower: Hi.
Metara v2.0: ...well, that wasn't particularly crazy
Miles Prower: We need to talk some more.

Doctoroc: You can accept the AIM invitation now...
Metara v2.0: What AIM invitation? Oh. It would help if I were connected to AIM.

Miles Prower: I know what a skeleton looks like, but I couldn't tell you what parts are which to save my life.
Metara v2.0: Clavicle is the collarbone
Metara v2.0: Humerus is the funnybone
Metara v2.0: Femur is the thigh
Metara v2.0: Tibia is, er, uh... dammit I thought that was the thigh too. Dunno what that is then
Metara v2.0: Metatarsals are either in the hand or the foot...
Metara v2.0: I'm not helping am I?
Miles Prower: Nope.

Footman: I just realized this...
Footman: ...My socks don't match.
Tangwistel: OMG!!!!!111

Austin: even though i like metara, i still dont understand why a robot would need boobs, let alone a gender
Metara v2.0: Metara was designed by the Japanese. I think it is self explanatory.
Austin: I KNEW IT!

Metara v2.1: Hang on, there's an error.
Metara v2.1: /albums doesn't exist?
Metara v2.1: Yes it does!
Metara v2.1: It totally does!
Metara v2.1: ...wait...
Metara v2.1: No it doesn't.

Tangwistel: I don't like that sort of art, to be honest. IMO, a horse should look like a horse.
Doctoroc: It's a sheep.
Tangwistel: My point has been made.

Doctoroc: The fangirls have their own medium.
Alex Jones: Ah
Alex Jones: *shrugs* Interesting to see how you'll smash it over my head when I'm on top of a building, and you're keeping me from getting to Dray, as well as fighting off EX-soldiers.
Alex Jones: Sorry. Wrong thing
Doctoroc: ...

Echidna-Hazard: Mr. Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes, bitch.

Ryan Matthias: Im so tough I...uh
Ryan Matthias: ...umm....uh
Doctoroc: Have replaced cranial matter with mutated biceps
Ryan Matthias: I DRINK MILK STRAIGHT FROM THE CARTON
Doctoroc: OMG

Miles Prower: ...
Miles Prower: *cough*
Miles Prower: o_O;;
Metara v2.1: ...
Metara v2.1: o_O;

Doctoroc: Kinda complicated... Shortly: Super-strong venomous sucker arm, tall, lean and fit, contortionism and he's got no thinger.
Doctoroc: ...Yes, that's a power.
QQQ: Thinger? Or shouldn't I ask...
Doctoroc: Your member.
QQQ: ...

Metara v2.1: Okay. So your theory... Knuckles would fall in love with Metara because she has boobs. The fact that these boobs are made out of high-density aluminium alloy does not factor.

Tangwistel: Metaru, we wuv j00
Doctoroc: *squee*
Tangwistel: God, we're sad

Dr. Sipp: *goes on strike*
Doctoroc: *fires*
Dr. Sipp: *cries*
Doctoroc: *hires*
Dr. Sipp: *smiles*
Doctoroc: *kills*
Dr. Sipp: *dies*
Doctoroc: OMG AAAHHH!!!111111 @_@ *revives* *blinks*
Dr. Sipp: o_O

Craven: ummm chilli, tasty
Craven: are you another hot and spicy lover?
Metara v2.1: That's rather a personal question?

Metara v2.1: Wacca wacca wacca!
Miles Prower: wooOOOoowooOOOoo
Metara v2.1: Blorp!

Doctoroc: As you noted earlier, I almost never RP seriously. YOu used to think that the word 'corpse' in that song was 'conch'
Echidna-Hazard: I'm so lost.
-AIM System Msg: Doctoroc's computer explodes

Doctoroc: ...And he wears clothes, so the possibility of The Crotchless Conch is eliminated
Doctoroc: ...OKAY, ENOUGH SICK HUMOUR

Doctoroc: I put FAR too much detail into these things

Metara v2.1: Let's bitch about.... *hmms*
QQQ: Who?
QQQ: Neopets?
Metara v2.1: No, not Neopets... something new... we've done SA haven't we...
QQQ: Ffn
Metara v2.1: Oh come on, we've done that dozens of times
QQQ: Ok...
QQQ: We've done windows
Metara v2.1: *hmms*
QQQ: George Bush
Metara v2.1: What about Nintendo? How they "just aren't as good as they used to be"
QQQ: yeh
QQQ: But we've done that before as well
Metara v2.1: Dang...
QQQ: CSLewis!!
QQQ: Lets bitch about him
Metara v2.1: Ooh, we haven't done him for a while

Morpha: ::floats through Hyrule Lake lazily, spins about, reaches out amorphous tentacle to raise self and view surroundings:: ::thinks:: Damn, I need a hobby.

Dr. Sipp: *off in another world* Shineeeee
Tangwistel: ... *hits you with a hardback copy of Lord of the Rings*
Dr. Sipp: *thunk* Where am I? WHo am I? Who are you- oh hi. ^-^
Tangwistel: That's better

TcmSonic: So your Sonic slump is back? I had a minor one over the summer.
Tangwistel: Not a Sonic slump, more of a Zelda "OMG"

Silver, Heir of Termina: Hey, the Labyrinth section looks like it'd almost be worth reading.
Silver, Heir of Termina: The summaries are nearly all literate, anyway.

Doctoroc: ...one of which is to be young, brash, handsome and the engaged husband to Zelda, who's refusing to go along with anything her mother likes on principle.
Doctoroc: His name... Tingle.
Metara v2.1: I was with you right up until the last word.

Link: ::enters area, surveys it, and notices Morpha handling a small white mask:: ::draws sword:: HYAH! ::charges, slashed the tentacle, which dissapates, mask falls onto Link's face:: (OOC: That was fortunate.)

Doctoroc: Avril Lavigne song.
Picadura: DIE BITCH!!! -SHOTSHOTSHOT-
Doctoroc: *RELOADRELOADRELOAD*
Picadura: He was a punk, and she was in the coffin... He was a punk, SHE WAS DEAD!
Doctoroc: THANK GOD
Picadura: -Listens to Haunted-\
Doctoroc: *listens to I'm With You*
Picadura: -Gets tired of it, switches to My Immortal-
Doctoroc: *keeps listening to the Lavigney goodness*
Picadura: -Keeps stabbing the beeyotch-
Doctoroc: Beeyotch: Uh... Lavigne's... In... *dramatic music* L... A...
Picadura: Oh well...
Picadura: 'There's just too much that time cannot erase...'
Doctoroc: "I don't know who you are, but I... I'm with yooouuoouou000koouououotr[okds]ntslw
Doctoroc: brwoinaBNOIPOQPR
Doctoroc: VERWNOIboiwnnor0poie3gj09W595
Doctoroc: "
Picadura: I don't know who you are but I... I'm KILLING you! SHOTSHOTSHOT

Miles Prower: Your typing just got exponentially worse.
Metara v2.1: omg i haev bene ifeccted by teh a0l virus

Doctoroc: Murder... BY DEATH.

Echidna Hazard: Oh, jeez. >> Lord of eternal hell, save me from this. God, NO. *Wrings hands, anguished*
Tangwistel: are you on FFN?

DLK: I have no idea what DnD is either...
Alex Jones: Think a roleplaying game using pencils and paper, and you roll dice to see if you succeed in your various actions.
DLK: o_O... okay... erm... cool.
Chatsyeux: What if your character is just trying to go to the bathroom? Is there a chance they'll fail?
Namor McKenzie: No. Unless there's a chance in real life of failing, you usually won't have to roll. Of course an evil DM might make you anyway, but in that ccase you can take a ten, where it's assumed you roll the average of ten. Then you factor in other thigns which will raise of lower the total score, like your dexterity of if you're drunk, and if the total is above the DC the DM set then you've succeded.
Alex Jones: Or you can take a few rounds to prepare and take twenty. But then it might be a little too late. Generally you don't have insistance on making your characters use the restroom, seeing as how it's thought to be done during one of the stages where you're waiting, or time passes. Though I knew one DM who insisted on making the characters take off all their armor to relieve themselves (Medieval setting) and he didn't understand why he caught a crossbow bolt in the ass when he did it under another DM. Things you'd need to roll for are something like punching a person, performing various acrobatic feats, checking to see if you Neo the bullets...

John Something: whta, I am going to parents evening, with the man who is not my father, to see my teachers whom are not teachers
John Something: whats poetic about that
Doctoroc: How are your teachers not teachers? Because they don't have l33t n33nja sk33lza like you?
John Something: no, they do not fulfill the requirements of teachers, and therefore cannot be them, they are merely ordinary people masquerading as teachers

Blackfur2: "Gee, gang, Mysterio could either be the retired stunt man out for revenge, the director, or the janitor! Jinkies! He used smoke and mirrors to make it LOOK like he was levetating!"

Shine Z26: I will upset YOUR balance!
DoRoc Sabah Nur: You can upset my balance all night long ;d
Shine Z26: ...

Sipp: Psi0nic Eye: I'm not in the mood to fulfill my bestiality
DoRoc: XD
Sipp: Best line ever
DoRoc: Almost
Sipp: So what IS the best line ever then Mr. Smarty Tightey Whiteys?
DoRoc: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to SMILE"
Sipp: ....
Sipp: XDDDD

Sipp: Your Metal called them "consorts".
Sipp: Only royalty call people "consorts".
MS2: Too.. something... to call them anything else
Sipp: Metal is the Queen of England!

Sipp: SC: th-th-thank y-y-you ... *does her little bow thing and starts to hobble out on crutches*
Sipp: (... I first typed crotches XD)

Dr. Sipp: I want a chocolate bra
Dr. Sipp: ...
Dr. Sipp: I mean bar XD; BAR!

Chibi Dark Link: THE PENGUINS, WHY DO THEY TAUNT ME SO

Dr. Sipp:Although trying to smush someone is an... interesting.... form of love
Echidna-Hazard: RK style!
Dr. Sipp: INDEED! If you love someone, BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!
RK: YAAY!

Dr. Sipp: 5 MOST SUCCESSFUL PICK UP LINES FOR METAL
5. I have a computer at my house.
4. What a coincidence! I also serve Eggman unwaveringly.
3. I hate Sonic.
2. Dating me will further your plans for world domination. Cross my heart and hope to die.
1. Robotnik wants you to marry me. Hop to it, Oh-One.
Dr. Sipp: IIiiii have a computer at my house, Metal~ ~_^ *shotshot*

Echidna-Hazard: Robotnik: What made meek, doormat little Project Shortcake go so ballistic earlier, hmm?
Dr. Sipp: ("The fact that you need a diet")
Echidna-Hazard: ("I'm big boned.")
Dr. Sipp: ("The stomach is not a bone")

Dr. Sipp: Az, Mewtwo, and a baby bloodhound? That would be one screwed up household
Kid: *BARK*
Az: Go to school, Timmy. Here's your coffee for work, Mewtwo, dear. *hands it over*
Mewtwo: I have no need for hot black liquid, or COMPUTER WORK! ALL MUST SUFFER!

Miles Prower: I feel stabbity.
Silver, Heir of Termina: Well, there's no lack of targets
Miles Prower: Yes but they don't know that I personally hate them.
Silver, Heir of Termina: You could leave a review: "I hate you. Love, Miles."

Silver, Heir of Termina: America sucks. AOL was YOUR fault.
TcmSonic: everybody makes mistakes :,(

Miles Prower: You should be obeying my selfish whims and clustering around me, ready to do what I ask.
Silver, Heir of Termina: What is thy command, O Master?
Miles Prower: ...
Miles Prower: Dunno.
Silver, Heir of Termina: It shall be done.

Edward Genius IV: *buzzer rings*
Tangwistel: Buzzers don't ring, they buzz
Edward Genius IV: this one rings
Tangwistel: It'd be a ringer then

Metara v2.1: By the way, Silver's just gone insane and murdered an entire camp full of soldiers.
QQQ: I thought he might

Doctoroc: Join me and we can rule the world, including every burger bar you've ever heard of, scare small childeren and KILL MICHAEL JACKSON
TcmSonic: Sweet!

Doctoroc: Sooomeoooone has a big eeegooo
Tangwistel: MEEE!!! ...What? Oh.

TcmSonic: it's a long story though.
Tangwistel: Leave out the prepositions then.

Cirrus: What the hell point is there in putting a TV tuner in a machine that is connected to a TV anyways?
Metara v2.1: You can... watch... TV...
Metara v2.1: ....
Metara v2.1: n/m

Doctoroc: It's like marzipan, you either laugh or don't understand it
Doctoroc: Or both
QQQ: I don't laugh when I eat Marzipan
QQQ: Marzipan is cool
Doctoroc: Way to destroy my philosophical meditations

Echidna-Hazard: Reala: I have a special job for you, Mouse...
Dr. Sipp: (...that sounds so dirty... XD)

Sakebi: I AM 5'8''. >
Dr. Sipp: DAMN YOU.

Doctoroc: He won't accept that Hitler was a Christian.
Metara v2.1: American, is he?
Doctoroc: OMG HOW DID U NO
Metara v2.1: GEE I MUST BE PSYCHIC

Inferno Boo: gay
Doctoroc: *DOCTOROC used INSTA-FUCK*

Dr. Sipp: Shadow: Maria...
Tails: Sonic...
Big: Froggy...
Eggman: My cheeseburger...
Sipp: MIIIGHTYYY!!11!1!!1KL!Jlj!l11
Mighty: You ruined it >_>

MS2: RK: Mm, cows. ... Wait, Shortcake's afraid of cows? >>;
Dr. Sipp: These aren't normal cows, RK...
Dr. Sipp: *X-file theme plays*

Dr. Sipp: Shark: *angry shark noises*
Az: *flails for the surface, vision going red*
MS2: (XD Angry shark noises)
Dr. Sipp: (YES)
Dr. Sipp: (Angry/lonely. HE WANTS IN)
MS2: (RK/Az/Shark)
Dr. Sipp: (OMG!!1!1!!)

<OverlordBill> GOD DAMN IT!
<OverlordBill> GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
<Occurence_of_Something> It has been god fucking damned.
<OverlordBill> Good.

MS2: RK: I'm offended. *legs go; sits down on the floor* But I'll get over it.
Sipp: (Legs go, eh? XD)

Sipp: Stop drooling, Hyper, you're clogging up the keys
Hyper: D:!!!!
Sipp: XD
Sipp: http://sipp.kiwiwolf.net/pwned.jpg
Hyper: GAH! I actually clicked it.
Sipp: http://sipp.kiwiwolf.net/pwned.jpg

Metara v2.1: chmod 666 setup - Config of the Beast.

Doctoroc: Stop shaking me, can't you see I'm unconscious
Nat: lol
Nat: i cant just leave u unconcious
Doctoroc: Yes you can. I can manage on my own perfectly fine while I'm unconcious
Nat: good good

Ma-san: ARGH! you... BRITISH PERSON!

Doctoroc: Forbidden fruits taste sweetest. (And I'm forbidden. :9 *shot, stabbed, kicked in the groin etc*)

Doctoroc: I've never eaten a pickle.
Picadura: ....
Picadura: DIE, VILE HEATHEN! -Bashes him over the head with guitar-

Metara v2.1: Rouge is a whore. Damn her and her bouncing mammaries.
Doctoroc: Yes, she is a whore...
Doctoroc: Chaos won't pay her, though.
Metara v2.1: And then she'll hunt him down like a vigilante.

Ma-san: I feel like drawing Darkie naked
Tangwistel: !_!

Doctoroc: Perv.
Footman: You're saying that like it's a bad thing.

Tangwistel: *pokes your avatar*
Dr. Sipp: What's my avatar? o.o
Tangwistel: I'm not sure.
Dr. Sipp: I can't see it
Tangwistel: It looks a bit like a pair of trousers.
Dr. Sipp: those are the pants of d00m
Tangwistel: ...
Tangwistel: I'm going over HERE now.

Metara v2.1: Doctoroc thought the world was ending 'cause I'd changed my avatar.
Snake: oh yeah...
Snake: Shit it must be... x-x
Snake: *runs around frantically*

Tangwistel: It is official, I AM a retad
Mecha Sonic: nah..dont say that...
Tangwistel: ...who cannot even spell "retard".

Doctoroc: Why'd you close the connection? DID you coose the connection?
Tangwistel: I got d/ced you retard
Doctoroc: reTAD.
Tangwistel: Retad then

Miles Prower: How do you get the lines so smooth?
Metara v2.1: Patience, judicious use of the Eraser, judicious use of the Undo command, and foul language.

Doctoroc: I really wish I'd never heard the term "tentacle hentai".
Tangwistel: Was that my fault? Sorry. Just have to spread the pain sometimes.

Tarka Fe: They should have had Whoopi Goldberg as Storm in the X-Men movies
Tarka Fe: Would have been much better
Doctoroc: I should know who she is, I really should.
Tarka Fe: Sister act
Doctoroc: Who's she played?
Doctoroc: Oooohhh
Tarka Fe: Now, the 'XD'
Doctoroc: XD
Tarka Fe: See?

MarvelCard: One pair of mechanical tentacles lost in spinal fusion: $5,000
MarvelCard: One destroyed university campus: $50,000.65
MarvelCard: One vast cutting-edge mansion underneath a seedy New York neighborhood: Untold billions
MarvelCard: Doctor Otto Gunther Octavius singing an Elton John ditty: priceless
MarvelCard: There are some things money can't buy... For everything else there's Mastercard.

Fluffy: *cries*
Doctoroc: Aww
Doctoroc: *snuggles*
Fluffy: *slaps*
Doctoroc: Ow.
Fluffy: BAD pervert, BAD.
Doctoroc: ...But I wasn't perving on you...
Doctoroc: I'M INSULTED
Doctoroc: I'M LEAVING
Fluffy: Who cares, I'm feeling arbitrary
Doctoroc: I'M PREGNANT
Doctoroc: BITCH
Fluffy: You were leaving anyway
Doctoroc: ...
Doctoroc: I KNEW THAT

Doctoroc: There's only one word I caught in that
Doctoroc: Guess what it was.
Tangwistel: "Sexual"...
Doctoroc: Damnit, I always lose that game

Craven: PURPLE THONG!
Metara v2.1: I don't think I want to click on that.

Doctoroc: We are NOT starting an international cult, my sweet
Doctoroc: ...That's becoming a habit of mine, you know.
Doctoroc: The 'my sweet' thing, not starting of international cults.

Miles Prower: Now for the crushing and/or nasty and/or depressing news bite. Yes?
Doctoroc: The world is going to end and I am dying of the world's rarest and most painful disease and Tara has died and TC is a heroin addict and MSN is going to be regulated by English teachers by tomorrow.
Miles Prower: ...
Miles Prower: You had better be kidding, or I'm going to do my best to kill you
Doctoroc: Everything's fine
Doctoroc: Honest

Doctoroc: Okay, okay, just make some Satanist fans walk in with hoods and stuff then... Do something to raise Madonna from the dead
Doctoroc: HOW HARD IS THAT?

MS2: RK: .. You shouldn't have left like you did. Things can be resolved with MS2, and as of now I fear how she's going to take this. But given the choice, I would fight for my family with my life as well. .. Be strong, Chrono.
Sipp: (Dude, he just spent the last 5 posties yelling and swearing at Chrono XDD)
MS2: (FUCKING BASTARDASS COWARD HOW DARE YOU-- And may god be with you. *mauled*)
Sipp: (YES! XD)

MS2: RK: Chrono's coming back and Metal's gonna work on his computer.
Sipp: SC: *stares up at him with teary eyes* R-r-really?
Sipp: (RK: NO April Fools
SC: It's Valentine's Day
RK: Whatever)

Dr. Sipp: Who says Sonic characters have a manhood to begin with?
Dr. Sipp: I SEE NO PENIS.
Dr. Sipp: Maybe they were all castrated...
Doctoroc: Most furry mammals' phallii are hidden.
Dr. Sipp: BY EGGMAN, NO DOUBT
Doctoroc: SLit between the egg
Doctoroc: **LEGS
Dr. Sipp: ...damn you, spoil my fun
Doctoroc: OH GOD

Doctoroc: She's...
Doctoroc: Oh my god...
Doctoroc: SHE HAS CLOTHES ON
Doctoroc: AND HER BOOBS ARE NORMALLY SIZED
Doctoroc: AND YOU SENT IT TO MEEEEEEE
Footman: That's Luna. :p
Doctoroc: It's a sign of the Apocalypse is what it is

Chibi Dark Link: "Saroka was on her father's horse riding towards Kakariko village she was travling around to find the location of Link for her father she had a sword and oracania her eyes fill with evil her long green hair blowing in the wind she was next in line for the throne after Ganon(thats her daddy)she was 17 and was almost as good as her father"
Chibi Dark Link: *froths at the mouth*
TheBlackFox: breathe

Echidna Hazard: One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion. --Anatol Rapoport
Doctoroc: >XD
Echidna Hazard: That one...kind of isn't supposed to be funny

Metara v3.0: Hmm. Call me "Suspicious-san" but I have a feeling that an anime called "Lesbian Ward" may be hentai.
Dr. Sipp: Wow, wherever would you get THAT idea from?
Metara v3.0: I don't know, it's just this strange premonition I had.
Dr. Sipp: That's really farfetched, though. I mean... hentai? Lesbian Ward?

Doctoroc: Aah, I see. Perhaps some weapon can be unearthed and used for this battle? As we've established, preferrably not a crowbar or a magic sword.
Metara v3.0: THE CROWBAR OF AVALON
Doctoroc: ...YES!!
Doctoroc: ...No.
Metara v3.0: ...No.

Shaft: I'm coming to your city, Sipp. I'm going to stalk you.
Dr. Sipp: Lies. You'll never find me.
Shaft: I know your last name.
Dr. Sipp: I live with my mom. And she has a different last name than me.
Shaft: ...
Shaft: Damn you, vile vile cretin of the night.

Metara v3.0: Windows is endorsed by Satan. Every time a copy of Windows is sold, a fairy dies.
Doctoroc: Good enough for me.

Miles Prower: What were you doing while I was away, how were you doing it, why were you doing it, how is your sex life, and do you go to the bathroom often
Miles Prower: XP
Miles Prower: You don't have to answer, incidentally
Miles Prower: I'm just making fun of you and stuff
Miles Prower: ^_^
Doctoroc: I was eating, by enjoying it, because it was dinner time, my sex life is nonexistant for the moment but if you're so desperate to know the details you may as well be a part, and yes.

Metara v3.0: All I ever seem to get is penis enlargement ads.
Miles Prower: I got a batch of ads for breast enlargement pills
Miles Prower: ...Wanna trade?

Miles Prower: i cn go 4 sum esezx
Doctoroc: gud coz i m hrne wana cybr
Miles Prower: *iz secxy*
Miles Prower: i wnt u lovah
Doctoroc: omgomgomg11111

Ishntknew: In Doctor Duncedamnyou's space laboratory, they would've named YOU Forenign Guikudor Awuchuda!
Doctoroc: In Oxford, Harvard and Aberystwyth they'd have denounced you as too stupid to exist and defined you as the final conclusive proof that Baudrillard was right.
Ishntknew: Baudrillard?
Doctoroc: I love my intelligence.

Elmer Fudd: We are the borg. You're gonna be assi-assi-assim we're gonna take you ober!

Metara v3.0 Lite: ...that doesn't involve a) Triforces, b) Din, Nayru and Farore, 3) The Master Sword.
Metara v3.0 Lite: a, b, 3?
Metara v3.0 Lite: ...

Doctoroc: You will despise me for this; but Zelda/Sofia is seeming more and more realistic.
Ma-san: *kicks you*

Doctoroc: How is you?
Elemental: h33333333r
Elemental: Tired
Doctoroc: Oh, how horrib- Oh.

Doctoroc: Can I say that I adore you without being mistaken for a spreader of innuendo?
Kage Nezumi: No. But say it anyway.
Doctoroc: I fucking love you.
Kage Nezumi: You have the second and third words switched there.

Dr. Sipp: Should I work on Anti-Climax, Double-Blade, or Behind Steel Doors?
Doctoroc: Double-Blade.
Dr. Sipp: You are a BITCH.

Psycho Llama: May you not have dreams of an oven bounding around free and playing 80s music *glompage*
Psycho Llama: *stomp*
Doctoroc: MY FOOT

J-P.T: Ok, it works, but not properly.
Doctoroc: How does THAT work?

Abs: i dont think that armoured nightmares hair is real. i think its a fake bit he stuck on the back of his head with prit-stick.

Tarka Fe: Mapping my face
Tarka Fe: bnbnhhhhhhhhhhygujtbnv7
Tarka Fe: chin, nose and forehead
Tarka Fe: kg mhvytfnbiuj6c5m6yh
Tarka Fe:right side of face
Tarka Fe: f5t6rujhgv7yki8ujhleft side of face
Tarka Fe: gfhlkj,o.o
Tarka Fe: middle finger
Tarka Fe: bvcbnm
Tarka Fe: left of middle finger, idex
Tarka Fe: jhgkui
Tarka Fe: yutjhgfr
Tarka Fe: little finger
Tarka Fe: fgjhk,ml.
Tarka Fe: thum b
Tarka Fe: ,nbm`cvyut,m``rrr5rr5`rr
Tarka Fe: I'm sticking twos up at you
Doctoroc: .......
Doctoroc: I just came back.

Tarka Fe: If I were prime minsiter I would make a law
Tarka Fe: no people called robert can be pulled from their computer to go to a bonfire
Tarka Fe: But it's not Guy Fawkes night

Tangwistel: We saw Mew today in SSBM
Tangwistel: That doesn't happen often
Doctoroc: No, it doesn't
Doctoroc: What does Mew do?
Tangwistel: Bugger-all
Doctoroc: Must play SSBM more

Metara v3.1.1: I'm hungry
Miles Prower: Didn't you eat your sausage...
Miles Prower: ...Oh wait
Miles Prower: Perhaps I should rephrase that

DoRoc Sabah Nur: Oh, the crushing hopelessness you get when you realise you're not funny.

MS2: RK and Rogue were fighting for the chaos emerald... and as a last resort Rouge put it down her shirt.
Dr. Sipp: Stupid Rouge, RK just wants a REASON to put his hand down there.

Doctoroc: And he thinks Linky is the HoT?
Doctoroc: ...I've never seen that acronym before
Metara v3.0 Lite: LINKY IS TEH HOT
Metara v3.0 Lite: OH YES
Metara v3.0 Lite: LINKY IS TEH HOT
Metara v3.0 Lite: No, Dark does not think Linky is teh hot.

Lishia20: Sometimes I feel like i'm the only Sonamy supporter.
Doctoroc: ...
Lishia20: what?

Miles Prower: I have to <p> in the &nbsp;

Doctoroc: ...He could be a plant for all we know
Metara v1.0: I think we'd know if Shadow was a plant.
Doctoroc: Why? He's nearly indestructible; altered lignin would make that. He's able to harness chaos energy and use it to warp the air and space around him; just like a plant uses the energy of the sun to power its production of food
Doctoroc: Just WHAT'S powering those sneakers?
Metara v1.0: ...
Metara v1.0: The horrendous thing is, I can't think of any contradictions to this argument.

Metara v1.0 - Retro Edition: LobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbySPLEEN

Fluffy the Boe: ...Lobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobbylobby BOOBIES BOOBIES

Chibi Dark Link: It was the Song of Healing, wasn't it?
Chibi Dark Link: Under the windmill
Fluffy the Boe: Yes
Chibi Dark Link: Not windmill.
Chibi Dark Link: Thing like windmill
Chibi Dark Link: Big
Chibi Dark Link: wooden
Fluffy the Boe: Clock
Chibi Dark Link: That

Link: When Ganon screeched and waved his tail around like that, I forgot for a few seconds that he was trying to kill me. Then I remembered when my head connected with the ruins of his tower.

Anthony: Nah, I mean, there are more Klingon speakers than native Navajo. They sold out, got mainstream
KDE Metara: Who? The Klingons or the Navajo?

Doctoroc: Ah, one thing- you and QQQ can play me chars in the RP while I'm away.
Metara: We can play your chars? HOT-CHA-CHA! NiGHTS/Stylus/Jackle three-ways COMIN' RIGHT UP
Doctoroc: AIIIEREEEEEEERRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Metara: ^-^
Doctoroc: I'd like fries with that.

Chibi Dark Link: I stick by our spellings. They rick
Chibi Dark Link: ROCK
Chibi Dark Link: -_-;
Anthony: Way to cleave that argument right in the nutsack
Chibi Dark Link: Faceful of irony, OW

Fluffy the Boe: Which movie is this?
Doctoroc: X-Men 1.
Fluffy the Boe: Oh, ok
Fluffy the Boe: I'm doing star ars. : D
Fluffy the Boe: ....WARS
Fluffy the Boe: 'Star WARS'

META KNIGHT: There was a girl at school that we called Penguin (when she wasn't listening)
META KNIGHT: She had big black eyes in a white face and she walked like him.
Doctoroc: You've said this
META KNIGHT: I feel kinda guilty now though XD
Doctoroc: I would, too. *poke* XD
META KNIGHT: *cries*
Doctoroc: *laughs maniacally*
META KNIGHT: *stabs*
META KNIGHT: I have a big sword with lots of pointy bits
Doctoroc: *...screams*

Bullseye: Woe thine evil deeds, doctor Octavius, for I wilst nay succumb to thine vile tricks of thy mind. I shalst fight thine manipulation for all time, and nay bow down, for I am a valiant knight of mine kingdom, and thine evil regime hath ended. Thy people hath victored!
Doc Ock: *pokes*
Bullseye: *SHRIIIEK!!!* OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!! I give up! I give up!!
Doc Ock: n_n v

Doctoroc: There was a young moron called Runnic
Doctoroc: Whom Lishia rendered a Eunic
Doctoroc: She bit off his codger
Doctoroc: 'Cause he was a dodger
Doctoroc: Who tried to cyber her constantly. *hic*

Doctoroc: If one's eye is similar to a rectangle, one has a rectangular eye. If one's eye is similar to a trapezium, one has...?
Flaria Dallian: A trapezoidal eye?
Shine Z-26: Some pretty fucked up eyes.

Doctoroc: Brb, Roc hears THE CALL OF THE TOILET
Dr. Sipp: OMG
Doctoroc: *BUM BUM BUUUUM BUMBUMBUM*
Doctoroc: *BOM*
Doctoroc: *BIBIBIBIBIBI*
Doctoroc: *etc*

Chatsyeux: Well, I'm going to go now.
Doctoroc: Aw, okay.
Chatsyeux: Hopefully I'll have something to reply to when I return.
Doctoroc: *thunder crash*

Doctoroc: Let's talk about something non-political and non-sick.
Doctoroc: Any ideas for the Great Sex Heist?

Tarka: The second series of Monkey is so much funnier
Tarka: Monkey turns his staff into an array of things
Tarka: A laser gun, an empty space detector, a radar, a hosepipe and even a big drill!
Doctoroc: ...What KIND of staff...
Tarka: His magic wishing staf
Doctoroc: Oh good

Doctoroc: Heterogenous idiosyncracy.
Blues: What's that mean?
Doctoroc: Uniqueness, derived from being posessed of many different talents and qualities.
Blues: Ah.
Doctoroc: Basically they're special.

Fluffy the Boe: So.
Fluffy the Boe: ...Booored.
Fluffy the Boe: No inspiration, no nothing
Fluffy the Boe: *sob*
Doctoroc: Awww
Doctoroc: *gives j00 a Comfort Penguin*
Fluffy the Boe: ...What do you do with these?
Comfort Penguin: I kind of dance and kind of laugh at the same time. _I_ think it's creepy, but it sells and gives the orphanage for mentally retarded guinea pigs where I came from some money in our time of desperate need, what with all the famine and cholera and deadly skin infections sprea-
Doctoroc: *shoves the Comfort Penguin away* That's enough comfort for one day.

Blues: Ya told me your comp blew.
LINK: Couldn't've done, I haven't been on MSN since (last Monday)
Blues: Yeah, you talked to me last Sunday I think.
LINK: It happened on Monday, though XD
Blues: ... I hate Time Travel.
LINK: gimme back my Ocarina ¬_¬

Ishntknew: Back in 1037...
Ishntknew: I mean 1936.
Doctoroc: CASTLEVANIA: CABARET OF DOOM
Doctoroc: er, not stuck-up or religious enough. CABARET OF NECROPHILIAC VAMPIRE SLAYERS
Doctoroc: ...no, that's just wrong. CABARET OF UNDEATH
Ishntknew: ULTIMATE ATTACK!
Doctoroc: Solves all my problems

Zelda: Show us the way to the Forest Temple. I know you know the way. You went there once, long ago. Come with us. Guide us. Help us do what we have to do. Let us help you in return...
Dark Link: If I get a pair of pants out of this deal, I'm sold.

Sipp: ROC D: I demand that you force me to write KatC.
Roc: *sends a soundfile*
Soundfile: If you don't finish KatC, I will eat your family. I will eat your family's family. I will eat your family's family's family, YOUR ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!

Doctoroc: Ooooohh... Like a whatchyamacallit. Lost child
Doctoroc: Ghost of a drowned or killed baby in urban Victorian myth
Flaria Dallian: And a 'waif wraith' is pathetic evil.
Doctoroc: Aah, I see.
Flaria Dallian: What do such ghosts do?
Doctoroc: I can't quite remember. I think it was simply to haunt
the parents or close friends with wailings
Flaria Dallian: Which would be very annoying, and good karma if they killed it because it wouldn't stop crying.

Shine Z26: I bet you could make up a well-clinging first name for anything.
Doctoroc: Suzie Apocalypse
Shine Z26: O_O
Shine Z26: I take that back.
Shine Z26: ...Why 'Suzie', by the way?
Doctoroc: I don't know
Doctoroc: It just randomly came to me. Y'know. Like naming hurricanes
Shine Z26: Ah. Yes.
Doctoroc: "It's awful! It's deadly! It's off the scale! It'll kill MILLIONS!!"
Doctoroc: "Let's call it Elaine"

Dark Link: "Oh the pain! The pain of actually being the one I hated most! Oh what a world, what a world!" *stands under a tanning lamp*
Zelda: "Did I say you could borrow that?"

gravite defiant: The first human-made object to break the sound barrier was a whip.
sakebi: *gigglesnort*
Doctoroc: XD
sakebi: "*in bed* I JUST BROKE THE SOUND BARRIER"
Doctoroc: oh GOD I can imagine that with Carol o____o;;;
Doctoroc: "yes- yes- yeeeessssss" "Ooh, I just broke the sound barrier! *gets notepad of 'things to do before I die' and ticks off 'break sound barrier with whip'*" "I hate you."

Shine Z26): Oh no... I did not realise... You are the one who... Served me that salad on that roadside restaurant ten years ago...!
DoRoc Sabah Nur: I was 5
Shine Z26: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Captain Falcon: ZING
Doctoroc: :O oh SNAP
Captain Falcon: hee hee hee
Captain Falcon: shit, I'm completely out of character
Captain Falcon: SHOW ME YOUR MOVES dammit!
Doctoroc: *performs... a ballet... or something*
Captain Falcon: not those moves
Doctoroc: *rave ballet*
Captain Falcon: that's more like it

Doctoroc: Jesus, it's WEDNESDAY?
Psycho Llama: :D same
Doctoroc: Ooh. :O I thought it was Thursday.
Doctoroc: Now I have to rediscover Thursday all over again
Psycho Llama: but ish still holiday
Psycho Llama: Find your inner Thursday, and you will achieve internal peace :)

TheBlackFox: Well, we COULD just blow up the universe, but to me that's lazy writing.

Alex: You keep bouncing on and off. It's tempting me to break out in song.
Link: what song?
Alex: The Legend of Zelda.
Link: Link he come to town?
Alex: Yup.
Link: *shoots*

Sexy Evil #3: Link, he come- *shot*
Link: Everyone greets me with that stupid song
Link: It is not fair, it is racism
Sexy Evil #3: I'm sorry

Link: It's the ears isn't it. Just because we Hylians have... ears...

Doctoroc: What's a sad first name? *writing more of Tearjerker*
Link: Miserea
Link: Tristessa
Doctoroc: For a man
Link: Kevin
Doctoroc: Excellent

Chibi Dark Link: I don't think I know what his bedroom looks like, let's use the one in Castle Nightmare
Chibi Dark Link: I think Megara poked around in it in teh h0rr0r-fic
TheBlackFox: X.X
Chibi Dark Link: ....do you realise we're following in her footsteps (((o.o)))
TheBlackFox: NO WE ARE NOT!
Chibi Dark Link: kind of
Chibi Dark Link: except without the raping
TheBlackFox: so help me she's going to leave the room when he changes
Chibi Dark Link: Donovan: "Nightmaaaria... I can't get these pants on with only one hand..."
TheBlackFox: Nightmaria: ...JACKLE! GET YOUR CAPE UP HERE!

Metara v3.11: I have jelly tots.
Doctoroc: I'm a pre-operative transexual lesbian dwarf.
Doctoroc: Ooh, jelly tots

Chibi Dark Link: Current Topic: SLAM YOUR HEAD ON THE KEYBOARD AND SEE WHAT IT SPELLS!
o_O it's a perfect summary of Neopets Help Chat

eloze: "Giff me... zee mep. Now."
Nightmaria: "Nut gueeng tu heppee, guubla guubla guubla torkee."

Miles Prower: You don't have shockwave installed, yes.
Chibi Dark Link: ...yes. No.
Chibi Dark Link: o_O
Miles Prower: ...
Miles Prower: No you don't.
Chibi Dark Link: Yes.
Miles Prower: ...
Miles Prower: But you said you didn't.
Chibi Dark Link: I don't
Chibi Dark Link: I was agreeing with you

ShaeDaylen: *Nodnod* I hear that.... I LIKE EVIL KEN! DON'T TAKE AWAY EVIL KEN!
eloze: I had a thing for Myotismon in episode one. Until he grew a face in his crotch :| Ahh, Japan

Chibi Dark Link: *roots for the weed*
TheBlackFox: *groans* that's a world class bad pun
Chibi Dark Link: ;) i try
TheBlackFox: I'm rubbing off on you, aren't I?
TheBlackFox: maybe that's where it's sprouting from
TheBlackFox: *runs*
Chibi Dark Link: ...............
Chibi Dark Link: i think you should leave
TheBlackFox: oh don't worry, my bark is worse than my bite
Chibi Dark Link: or at least branch out into something different
Chibi Dark Link: honestly, i never twigged you were so punny
Chibi Dark Link: you've really bloomed lately
Chibi Dark Link: silence eh? are you ready to bough down before the master?
TheBlackFox: must just be a seed of bad humor starting to grow and bare fruit
Chibi Dark Link: bah, you're green compared to me.
TheBlackFox: nah, I'm just rotten to the core

DoRoc Sabah Nur: I know what your next word will be.
eloze: Boobies!
DoRoc Sabah Nur: I guessed wrong.

"Eirgoroth Gorgar" signed on at 21:57:18.
Eirgoroth Gorgar: Dun dun dun
eloze: oh no not you again
Eirgoroth Gorgar: Yes it r me i am goku
Eirgoroth Gorgar: ::kamehamehajarah
Eirgoroth Gorgar: ::
eloze: i will fini fash yuo
Eirgoroth Gorgar: ha ha u r strog but my pwr lvlz r 2000000000000
eloze: o yea well my prw lvsl are 3000000000000000000 behod ias i ascefnd to ssj5
Eirgoroth Gorgar: onoez curs u

Doctoroc: Eggman and his crew will.. fight Baconman at some point or another
Doctoroc: I saw a porno like that once
Ishntknew: Gasp.
Ishntknew: Where Eggman and his crew fought Baconman?
Doctoroc: No, it was just a couple of guys.
Doctoroc: They had sex.
Doctoroc: In hindsight the connection isn't very clear right now

Ishntknew: If in some parallel universe, George Lucas was Michael Jackson, Star Wars would be his face.
Doctoroc: *trial* "And you talked with the boy's family about this...?" "DUN DUN DUHN DUUUUHHNNN DAAAAAAHHH DADADADEEEEEEEEE DAAAAAA"

Novak: Poop party at a friend... BBL

Doctoroc: "[FH8] A nearly functional Fantasy Heartbreaker"
Doctoroc: ...? A tearjerker?
Doctoroc: roll 1 for WAAH. roll 2 for WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. roll 12 to call the WAAAAHmbulance

eloze: dear god. "heartwarming animal stories", and this is the story of Muffin and Sugar Cookie.
eloze: There's something wrong with a person who calls a dog Sugar Cookie.

Nightmaria: waffle
blackideyaownj00: waffle spork
Nightmaria: wasabi waffle spork

blackideyaownj00: Why will nobody buy my Zircon Ring *Sigh* OK so it was cursed but i uncursed it meself dammit.
Nightmaria: can't force them to buy eh?
blackideyaownj00: oh that'd be why
blackideyaownj00: I used a scroll of identify on it and it's a Zircon Ring of Stupidity
blackideyaownj00: SAY NOTHING

blackideyaownj00: How exactly does one "hand someone their butt"?
Nightmaria: first you kick it until it comes off...

eloze: Innnteresting
eloze: had i a goatee i would be stroking it

Nightmaria: ewwwww... probably the one Haku hacked up
eloze: Chihiro squished it :(
Nightmaria: you'd think he'd know there was a creepy crawly in his gut
eloze: Dragon. <_<
Nightmaria: well, finding shiny stuff in there wouldn't be odd
Nightmaria: but a slug?
eloze: Slugs are shiny
Nightmaria: slugs are slimy
eloze: it's only two letters out

Nightmaria: until you step on one, in the dark, and can't get it off you for days...
eloze: just think how bad the slug felt
Nightmaria: I doubt it would have lived long enough to feel anything there
eloze: the slug did not want to be squished
eloze: the slug did not sit there waiting
eloze: now the slug is in a better world
eloze: eating the roses of angels

eloze: I know it's an ancient game but dammit there used to be some damn good stuff for FF7
Sipp: I prefer Kadaj
eloze: and now I can't find anything. Anything even moderately literate usually has buttsecks.
eloze: I did find a rather lovely Kadaj fic btw, on some Livejournal comm
eloze: well, the three of them, not just Kadaj
Sipp: ooh?
eloze: but I thought it captured them very well, their alien but very childlike way of thinking
eloze: Only problem was... you guessed it. It's well-written, so it's got to have buttsecks.

TCM: pretend i really effed things up with a girl
TCM: and hafta say sorry
TCM: what do i do
Dark Link: Slay her, and slay her family

eloze: this is the only pokemon game where you can murder shopkeepers to steal steroids, consume hallucinogenic substances and beat up your own clients.

eloze: I don't see why Jesus can't be King of Poland
TMIS: It's redundant though is my point.
TMIS: If they're Catholics, which they tend to be, Jesus already is.
TMIS: I mean, what, did all powerful Yaweh just forget to claim Poland when he created the entirety of being? "Well, let's see, itemized every territory and region throughout time and creation, and I rule all of them." "Lord, you forgot Poland." "...Well, shit, I'll need them to say I'm king of Poland too, or else I won't be able to do anything with their souls."
TMIS: I was unaware being God required so much red tape.
eloze: Everyone else forgets Poland, it's conceivable God might have done

blackideyaownj00: I'm British
This is Marks SN: You're a bollocks.
blackideyaownj00: No YOU
This is Marks SN: >.<

R.: And Lucas said to these thoughts 'Yes! THESE shall craft my opus of shit!"
Metara: you know you've got problems when the average fanfic is better written than the official canon material
Metara: seriously, I occasionally go to theforce.net's forums and ENJOY READING. Comparatively speaking. Like you might prefer a mild toothache to having nails hammered into your groin

eloze: poor Link
eloze: he has three and a half hearts left.
eloze: I was ignoring the leevers while trying to get a good view of the Colossus's boobs XD

Dark Link: admire my picture
Dark Link: I'm attention starved
TCM: holy cow
TCM: that's freakin amazing
Dark Link: thank you
Dark Link: you can stop now

eloze: I'd like to have Kingdom Hearts just for the idea of Donald Duck beating up Sephiroth
eloze: something in that appeals to me

Dark Link: if i had a wobbuffet
Dark Link: i would lick it
nuckles87: .........
nuckles87: You disturb me greatly

Nuckles87: YOU ROXORZ!
Dark Link: but I'm not wearing boxors
Nuckles87: TOO MUCH INFO

eloze: ^_^ ;_; =3 ^^ X3 >= ...
eloze: she types like e. e. cummings threw up on her keyboard

Sipp: Does Darkie even pee?
Sipp: Would it be black?
eloze: I'm not sure whether I'm more disturbed that you asked that question, or that you're not the FIRST to ask that question.

sonicpkm: Darkie pees blood.
sonicpkm: Red boiling blood.
sonicpkm: Filled with screams of the tortured, rotting dead.
eloze: I shall put that in my FAQ

Nuckles87 says: I will never, ever use his Heroes design.
Nuckles87 says: Why the hell was he even wearing a trench coat?
Nuckles87 says: I thought it simply didn't fit. Took away from his sleek design.
Dark Link says: perhaps he thought it was sexy. *pelvic thrusts*
Dark Link says: Robots need sex I mean love too
Nuckles87 says: ..........
Nuckles87 says: You are disturbing

Shae: Were WERE not allowed to watch pokemon, and mom at one point took away my 2BA Master CD because she was convinced it was a Satanic bible.
eloze: ....well, that I can see. The Pokérap is pretty evil
eloze: (...Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey... Ia Ia Cthulhu Fhtagn)

eloze: I'm not sure when or if to out Harper
eloze: (wow, that was an amazing grammatical construction)